As is to be expected with holidays, lots of things happened over the past week, but I’m going to start with my 10-year class reunion.
I imagine many people get nervous before high school reunions – what will people think, will we all revert to our behavior from years ago, etc. Since my experience at my 5-year reunion started with one former classmate threatening to tickle me (I responded exactly like my 16-year-old self would have: by saying that if he did, I’d kick him in the balls), I was understandably apprehensive about heading out to the event. I was not, however, really thinking about 3.
I spoke with a few old acquaintances, mostly enjoying myself. About halfway through the night, I referenced 3’s death when telling a story. It made sense; we held 3’s calling hours at the high school, and many teachers attended. Still, it was a passing mention, and I’m almost positive one of the two listeners knew about 3’s death already.
Then, after a surprisingly successful group picture, I ended up in a conversation with an old friend, a girl I spent quite a bit of time with in middle school before we joined different cliques in high school. She passed along the greetings of her mother, and then, to my surprised, started talking about 3. I hadn’t realized that her mother worked in the high school office while 3 and RJ were students there, so she knew 3 personally. My former classmate asked empathetic questions, describing how sad she and her mom were at the news of 3’s death and asking how the entire family was doing.
It was an incredibly gratifying experience for me, and I thanked her for letting me talk about 3 so candidly, even though it’s been almost 2 years. Honestly, though I certainly wasn’t expecting it or even really thinking about 3’s death on my way to the reunion, that kind of conversation is something I’ve quietly yearned for. Many times, before heading to see old friends, I find myself hoping that one of them will have heard about 3’s death and will offer their belated condolences. It’s selfish, of course, to want to add to my confirmed list of people who have thought about and prayed for me and my family since 3’s death, but it’s comforting. While I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve long since exhausted my quota of comfort and support from my close friends, I deeply appreciate being able to squeeze another condolence or two from acquaintances.
Real or Not Real? 